Studying quantum mechanics often gives you an eerie feeling. I tend to feel that something very adhoc is happening. Reading about special relativity is different for example: you start with some reasonable axioms and then the maths kind of follows. But not so a case with quantum mechanics. I’ve tried to read many books to get sort of a big picture view of what the hell is happening to no avail.
I sometimes long for those days of internet when you’d land on someone’s personal page where they’d document hard to find links about some (technical) subject matter and some commentary on them. Discovery of such links often meant that that your understanding or interest in certain subject would completely change. I also loved the painstaking effort someone would make to find and then document information for an unknown (web) traveller. There is a kind of romantic hope in doing this, similar to human beings putting out Voyagers spacecrafts with those golden record.